I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize