Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
