you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
