Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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