hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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