I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
