my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
