I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
