Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
