That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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