I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
