belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
