I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
