He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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