angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
