just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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