Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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