so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
