I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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