He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
