i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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