If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Mom said you looked used
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
