Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
