I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
