so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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