So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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