i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
