You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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