So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
