And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize