Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
