i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where is the hickey?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
