it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
