OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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