Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she smelled like a LAN party
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
