the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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