So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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