yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
