its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize