I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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