I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
