Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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