as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
