i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
