we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
