i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
