I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
