they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
