He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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