i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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