I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
