A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
