You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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