But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
