Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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