I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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