Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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