Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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