She's JV to your varsity
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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